Golden

 

Jockey (2021)

Directed by Clint Bentley this film stars Clifton Collins Jr., Molly Parker and Moises Arias. An ageing jockey has to face the end of his career as his body starts to break down on him.

Nothing revolutionary comes out of this film however it is a decent example of a familiar type of story. Never melodramatic this film has a nice low key feel to it. Being shot nearly entirely in the golden hour gives this film something of a unique look and reflects the sun setting on the protagonists career.

3/5

Not even worth a bronze medal

 

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973)

Directed by Gordon Hessler this film stars John Philip Law, Tom Baker, Takis Emmanuel and Caroline Munro. Sinbad races an evil wizard to find the source of ultimate power.

Be warned there is a lot of non Arab actors playing Arabic characters which has not aged well. The plot is like a bad d&d campaign, not much to write home about. Really the only decent thing here is Tom Baker going full evil and some of the classic stop motion special effects from Ray Harryhausen.

2/5

Like a 0-0 draw

 

Britt-Marie Was Here (2019)

Directed by Tuva Novotny this film based on the novel of the same name stars Pernilla August and Peter Haber. A 63 year old housewife leaves her husband after 40 years of marriage when she finds out he is cheating.

I found this film to be just a bit too gentle and predictable. There is a lack of real angst or drama here, like many book to screen adaptations too much of the conflict is internal rather than external. If you just want some soft feel good viewing I suppose this film is alright.

3/5

Lads on tour

 

Defile de voitures de bebes a la pouponniere de Paris (1899)

Directed by Louis Lumiere this is an early short film. Nannies take kids in prams for a walk in the park.

There is not much to this, it is a parade of women with prams. The image quality is decent for the period. Not the most remarkable short of the period.

3/5

Cheaper than you think

 

Murder Ahoy! (1964)

Directed by George Pollock this is the 4^th film staring Margaret Rutherford as Miss Marple. Our heroine suspects murder and heads off to a training ship to investigate.

Based on an original script rather than Agatha Christie's writings this is not a great who done it. At times the film is obviously cheaply made and locations do not marry up with what they are supposed to be. For me the highlight of the film was catching sight of a young Nicholas Parsons in a small part.

2/5

Glorious Julianne Moore

 

Gloria Bell (2018)

Directed by Sebastian Lelio this remake stars Julianne Moore, John Turturro, Michael Cera and Caren Pistorius. A middle-aged divorcee struggles to find her place in the world.

Essentially this is a coming of age film for a middle-aged woman, with not too many surprises in the process. The film is well made and decently carried by Julianne Moore but not much more than that. I have not seen the original Mexican film so I have no idea how this English language remake stacks up to it.

3/5

Streets paved with water

 

Lyon: Quai de l'Archeveche (1896)

Directed by Louis Lumiere this is an early short film. We see people ride horse and carts through what seems to be flooded streets.

Very simple in content, this is a single static shot as are many films of the period. There is a fair amount of action in this film as the people ride past, spraying water around. A decent little film for the era.

3/5

Drifting through the memories

 

Paris, Texas (1984)

Directed by Wim wnders this film stars Harry Dean Stanton, Dean Stockwell, Aurore Clement and Nastassja Kinski. After being missing for four years a man reappears out of the desert and starts to pick up the pieces of his life.

You have to wait for it till right near the end but Nastassja Kinski's heart breaking performance is what makes this film in my opinion. Sure this is a good modern Searchers, exploring ideas of identity however it is just a bit too distant till we finally meet Kinski's character. Well worth seeking out even if some might find it a bit “arty”.

4/5

No fences that is for sure

 

A Journal for Jordan (2021)

Directed by Denzel Washington this film based on real events stars Michael B. Jordan, Chante Adams and Jalon Christian. A soldier deployed to Iraq keeps a journal for his new born son.

I had high expectations for this film after the last film Denzel Washington directed, unfortunately this one falls far short of Fences. The script lacks any real conflict and would have been been more interesting if it was told from the point of view of the son. In the end this is just emotional masturbation without a point.

2/5

A big mix up

 

American Carnage (2022)

Directed by Diego Hallivis this film stars Jorge Lendeborg Jr., Jenna Ortega, Allen Maldonado and Bella Wholey Ortiz. The Governor of Texas has the children of illegal immigrants rounded up and sent to work in old people's homes to earn their freedom.

To be reductive this is the Latin American mix of Get Out and Soylent Green. There are some enjoyable elements to this film but it never really manages to be more than the sum of its parts. I enjoyed the performances of the young cast it is just this film could have been more impactful.

3/5

Are they really dragoons?

 

Dragoons Crossing the Saone (1896)

Directed by Auguste & Louis Lumiere this is an early short film. Men on horses cross a deep river.

There is nothing really to mark out the men here as dragoons rather than just horse riders which is a bit of a let down. The film stops before we see anyone get to the other side, possibly the first cliff hanger in cinema. Not the greatest unless you are big on seeing horses swim.

2/5

Well shit.

 

Hotel Splendide (2000)

Written & directed by Terence Gross this film stars Toni Collette and Daniel Craig. After being away for five years a woman returns to a family run health resort looking to rekindle a romance with the cook.

This film was a lot more off beat, eccentric and scatological than I was expecting. There is certainly something going on here but I am not sure the film ever really lands. I really wish the film was better lit, I know they are going for a dingy look however at times it is a little hard to tell what is going on in a shot.

3/5

Same old idiots

 

Jackass Forever (2022)

Directed by Jeff Tremaine this film features the Jackass gang along with some new faces and guest appearances. People do stupid things for the entertainment of others.

Mixing together gross and hilarious moments this is exactly what you expect from a Jackass film. There were plenty of moments that made me laugh but I was left wondering if there was anything really new here. The use of animals in a number of scenes is also slightly uncomfortable.

3/5

A film with a million imitators

 

Baby's First Steps (1896)

Directed by Louis Lumiere this is an early short film. A mother takes her child for a walk and shows off her first steps.

Once you get to a certain age you will have seen various clips of this type off your friends. This is definitely a precursor to many a home video. Not a huge amount to this one, more personal than historic.

2/5

No gimmicks, only obsession

 

Who You Think I Am (2019)

Directed by Safy Nebbou this film stars Juliette Binoche, Francois Civil and Nicole Garcia. A middle aged woman catfishes a younger man.

If you want to see a look at psychopath operating on a mundane level then this is the film for you. This is one the creepiest films I have seen in a while, the protagonist never once considers the harm she is doing to others. Great performances all round and some really nice shots too.

4/5

Not the advert skype wanted

 

Profile (2018)

Directed by Timur Bekmambetov this film inspired by real events stars Valene Kane. Shazad Latif and Christine Adams. A reporter pretends to be a convert to Islam to find out how ISIS fighters recruit girls and women to travel to join them.

It seems the film sticks fairly closely to the real journalistic investigation with the exception of embellishing the life the the reporter to make things a little less clear cut. An interesting watch, even if the screen only view is a bit of a gimmick. I do question slightly the decisions of some of the characters, they do do something just to serve the plot in my opinion.

3/5

A weak wicker man

 

Ghosts of the Ozarks (2021)

Directed by Matt Glass & Jordan Wayne Long this film stars Thomas Hobson, Tara Perry and David Arquette. A man travels to an isolated town his uncle runs to be the new doctor.

This film has all the hallmarks of being a bad The Wicker Man (1973) knock off. The film comes across as cheaply made and in need of a few rewrites. Not a lot to recommend this one on really.

2/5

A load of boules

 

Partie de boules (1896)

Directed by Louis Lumiere this film stars Andre Honnorat, Charles-Albert Winckler and Juliette Winclker. A group of adults play boules.

It is a bit hard to tell what is actually going on with the game but this short does capture some decent throwing action at least. Not an overly remarkable short, very much in the home video category. I doubt this one has much historical value.

3/5

Shite not site

 

Black Site (2022)

Directed by Sophia Banks this film stars Michelle Monaghan, Jason Clarke and Jai Courtney. A CIA agent takes an assignment at a black site so she can keep working on the bombing that killed her family.

In the first few minutes this Tom Clancy wannabe film loses all credibility by confusing an organisation for sharing signals intelligence for one that collects human intelligence. The less said about the plot the better, it does not add up and the characters do not function as spies. About the only mystery here is what big stars are doing in a film this bad which looks so cheap.

1/5

Stumble like an old house cat

 

Walk like a Panther (2018)

Written & directed by Dan Cadan this film stars Stephen Graham, Dave Johns and Stephen Tompkinson. To save a small village pub retired wrestlers plan one last performance.

Formulaic and predictable there is nothing surprising here. Even just a little bit of originality would have helped this ode to 80s British wrestling. The script is pretty thin an the performances are not enough to carry this generic comedy.

2/5

Sortie it out

 

La Sortie de l'usine Lumiere (1895)

Directed by Louis Lumiere this is an early short film. Workers leave the Lumiere factory at the end of the day.

There is not a huge amount to this short, which might be one of the first ever remakes. There is not much difference between this and the other films on the same topic. Not exactly a ground breaker for early cinema.

3/5

That's racist.

 

Elephant Walk (1954)

Directed by William Dieterle this film based on the novel of the same name stars Elizabeth Taylor, Dana Andrews and Peter Finch. A young woman marries a man after only knowing him for two weeks then travels to Sri Lanka to live on his tea plantation.

The film opens with a set up that looks like it might have something interesting to say about Empire and colonialism but completely whiffs on that. There are some cringe moments that show case some deeply uncomfortable points of view. Even the climatic sequence does little to save this relic that should probably be forgotten.

1/5

A great betrayal

 

Blue Bayou (2021)

Written & directed by star Justin Chon this film also features Alicia Vikander, Mark O'Brien and Linh Dan Pham. A Korean-American who was adopted in the late 1980s finds he is facing deportation.

It seems there is some controversy behind the sourcing of this story, putting that aside this is a heart breaking film on an issue that seems to be affecting many people in the US. Never melodramatic, the film is a little predictable in places but still a riveting watch. Well worth seeking out.

4/5

Crimes all round

 

The Good Neighbor (2022)

Directed by Stephan Rick this remake of a German film stars Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Luke Kleintank and Eloise Smyth. An American moves to Latvia and gets caught up in a hit and run which his new neighbour helps him cover up.

Inexplicably this film was broadcast with several key scenes fully in Latvian and with no subtitles. The plot is a fairly predictable and it is hard to ever feel any sympathy for the protagonist given the situation he gets himself in. I hope the original version was better than this.

1/5

Not that kind of coke, or that kind

 

Carmaux: Drawing Out the Coke (1896)

Directed by Louis Lumiere this is an early short film. Workers at a factory in France deal with a brick of coke as it emerges from the smelter.

For those of us without much industrial experience is it is a little difficult to really know what is going on in this short. Compared to some of the other films of the period I would say this one has a narrower appeal. Not one I would recommend to others.

2/5

Third time round

 

Father of the Bride (2022)

Directed by Gaz Alazraki this film based on the novel of the same name stars Andy Garcia, Gloria Estefan, Adria Arojona and Isabela Merced. A Cuban immigrant has to come to terms with his eldest daughter suddenly getting married while he faces his own divorce.

I have to admit I do not think I have seen any of the previous adaptations of this book despite there being more than one knocking about. The plot of this film is fairly predictable and this adaptation has enough glamour to keep you interested. Much like fast food this is what you would expect with nothing to really make it too memorable.

3/5

Those poor feet

 

Girl (2018)

Directed by Lukas Dhont this film stars Victor Polster and Arieh Wothalter. A 15 year old transgirl studies to be a ballet dancer while transitioning.

This film is based on the experiences of Nora Monsecour but is controversial within the trans community for the way it deals with a number of elements. At times this is a difficult film to watch that is very definitely obsessed with the physical body, for better or worse. I think there is a lot to discuss here, as a cis dude I am not the best person to do it though.

4/5

wheely good time

 

Bicyclist (1896)

Directed by Louis Lumiere this early short film stars Francis Doublier. A man rides his bike and does some tricks on it.

I suppose this is the grandfather of all those 90s skateboarding videos. Enjoyable and entertaining this is a decent little short. Props to our star, he knows some tricks!

3/5

Not very macho

 

Cry Macho (2021)

Directed by star Clint Eastwood this film based on the novel of the same name also features Eduardo Minett. In the 1970s a retired ranch hand is sent to Mexico to bring back his former employer's 13 year old son.

Much like its star this film seems rather tired. The plot really shuffles along hitting a number of expected and underwhelming beats. I think the film really needed a star who was twenty years or so younger.

2/5

Sunk by the writing

 

Into the Deep (2022)

Directed by Kate Cox this film stars Ella-Rae Smith, Jessica Alexander and Matthew Daddario. A young woman desperate to leave the small coastal town she lives in gets on a sail boat with a stranger.

Throughout this film the characters act in stupid and inconsistent ways to keep the audience guessing about the plot which is ultimately fairly unoriginal. With a re-write this could be an average thriller, as is I found it frustrating to watch. Yet another disappointing Sky Original film.

1/5

The fine line between haves and have nots

 

The Florida Project (2017)

Directed by Sean Baker this film stars Williem Dafoe, Bria Vinaite and Brooklynn Prince. A six year old and her mother live in poverty in a motel with in sight of the edifice of capitalism.

Classic coming of age stuff that celebrates the joys of freedom as a child while never losing sight of the underlying problems in our society. I really enjoyed the way the film mixes childhood fun with some really dark stuff barely veiled from sight. Well worth seeking out and watching, especially for Willem Dafoe in the supporting role.

4/5