Finger food

Jackpot (2011)

Written and directed by Magnus Martens this film stars Kyrre Hellum, Mads Ousdal, Henrik Mestad and Arthur Berning. Four Norwegian men win a jackpot betting on football then decide that it would be better to share the prize between less people.

This dark comedy from Norway works really well blending humour with violence that keeps you entertained through out. The plot keeps you guessing as to what really happened as the knuckle heads try to dispose of the various bodies. Occasionally the subtitles could have been a little easier to read but otherwise this is a really well made film that is well worth watching.

4/5

50 miles an hour or boom

Speed (1994)

Directed by Jan de Bont this film stars Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Sandra Bullock and Jeff Daniels. An LAPD police officer gets into a deadly game with a crazy bomber who holds a bus full of people hostage.

At the time of release this film was a massive success but it is hard to see why this film was judged to be more than your average action film. A lot of the plot borders on the silly and things like jumping a 50 foot gap with a bus are just ridiculous. Most of the stunts are well done and the acting is OK considering the characters do not have a huge amount of depth.

3/5

Woodland worries wobbled

Dr. Seuss' The Lorax (2012)

Directed by Chris Renaud and Kyle Balda this animated film uses the voice talent of Zac Efron, Danny DeVito, Ed Helms and Taylor Swift. In an attempt to impress a girl a boy from a town that is overly reliant on industry searches for a tree.

What always stands out most about Dr. Seuss' writing is his use of language but sadly that has been nearly completely removed from the script of this film. The plot is a pretty standard environmentalist story that lacks the humour and subtly of industry leaders Pixar. Apart from Danny DeVito it seems the cast was mostly chosen for their appeal to younger viewers rather than because they have interesting voices.

2/5

Stone heart

Romancing the Stone (1984)

Directed by Robert Zemeckis this film stars Kathleen Turner, Micahel Douglas and Danny DeVito. A Romance novelist travels to South America to try and help her sister who has been kidnapped by jewel thieves.

Given when it was made this film inevitably will end up getting compared to the Indiana Jones franchise and it comes off as a lot weaker. The script for this film lacks depth in pretty much all areas from plot to character and even the action sequences come off as a token effort. This film was a box office smash in it's day but is decidedly middle of the road in nearly all areas.

3/5

Iraqi ass map

Three Kings (1999)

Written and directed by David O. Russell this film stars George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, Ice Cube and Spike Jonze. Shortly after the end of the First Gulf War a group of American soldiers plan to steal Kuwaiti gold in Iraq.

The plot of this film takes a leaf out of the book of Kelly's Heroes (1970) but the early parts of the heist provide a good metaphor for exploring the reasons and limitations behind the international intervention in the Gulf War. Events may take the plot away from the political themes towards the end but in general the story works well. A number of elements of the direction also help give the action sequences a more realistic feel rather than this coming across as just another action film.

5/5

Harryhausen's horrors

The 7^th Voyage of Sinbad (1958)

Directed by Nathan H. Juran this film stars Kerwin Mathews, Torin Thatcher and Kathryn Grant. After falling foul of an evil wizard our hero has to sail to a dangerous island to get his bride to be restored to her normal size.

While the film is inspired by the classic Arabian character the story does not stick to any of the old tales and the film rarely features any Arab actors. The plot is pretty thin and is little more than an adventure story. Where the film does well is the classic Ray Harryhausen's special effects that actually hold up surprisingly well for the age of the film.

3/5

Same old Sandler

That's My Boy (2012)

Directed by Sean Anders this film stars Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg and Leighton Meester. Thirty years after having a child with his teacher when he was 13 a man tries to reconnect with his son.

Oh dear, this is yet another Adam Sandler film where he plays that annoying arse and the script does little to remedy this with any character growth. The plot plays incest and statutory rape for laughs which does not leave much room to find anything positive about this film. Maybe the only highlight of this film is the cameo from Vanilla Ice otherwise this film overly relies on easy, vulgar “jokes”.

1/5

Pot shots

The Fighting Lawman (1953)

Directed by Thomas Carr this western stars Wayne Morris, Virginia Grey and John Kellogg. A US Marshal hunts down three bank robbers that are living under new identities.

This is one of your standard b-movie westerns which has a fairly simple plot and while it does nothing well it does little wrong either. About the only highlight is that the female character is far more proactive than most in the genre but otherwise there is nothing unusual here. The execution of the film is not too bad although the action sequences do tend towards being a little silly/unbelievable at times.

3/5

Pig shit?

Piggy (2012)

Written and directed by Kieron Hawkes this film stars Paul Anderson, Martin Compston and Louise Dylan. A murder victims friend helps the dead man's timid younger brother seek bloody revenge.

The plot of this film is fairly disturbing but while it shows the dark side of the subject matter never really shows the pitfalls. Using a voice over for the main character to explain his thoughts is redundant and slightly annoying through out. While there is some really good cinematography it is not enough to over come the problems with the story.

2/5

No theory to explain this

Conspiracy Theory (1997)

Directed by Richard Donner this film stars Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts and Patrick Stewart. A crazy taxi driver with an obsession for conspiracy theories manages to actually stumble into a real conspiracy.

For a film based on such a wide ranging topic the plot of this film is surprisingly thin and largely boils down to chase scenes. The story itself does not really make a huge amount of sense if you think about it for too long either. While Mel Gibson does his best in the lead role I think he was miss cast and does not fit the type you would expect to be a conspiracy theorist.

2/5

Sugar my foot

Sugarfoot (1951)

Directed by Edwin L. Marin this film stars Randolph Scott, Adele Jergens and Raymond Massey. After the US Civil war a former Confederate officer moves to Arizona to start a new life.

The plot of this film contains most of the usual clichés you would expect from a cheap western b-movie and does so with little flair. It is hard to find much to recommend this film on as the script is pretty weak and often glosses over the hero largely being a bully to get his way. There is some suspect acting and it is pretty easy to see this is a low budget effort.

2/5

Woody goes to Rome

To Rome with Love (2012)

Written and directed by Woody Allen this film has a large cast including Alec Baldwin, Roberto Benigni, Penelope Cruz, Jesse Eisenberg and Ellen Page. Four unconnected stories of love play out in Rome.

This film fits in pretty well with what you would expect from a Woody Allen film and while not one of his best is not bad either. The stories themselves are not exactly subtle in nature but are decent enough to be entertaining. While the film does a good job of showing of Rome's great historic buildings it is not really what you would call funny through out.

3/5

Informing

Shadow Dancer (2012)

Directed by James Marsh this film based on the novel of the same name stars Andrea Riseborough, Clive Owen, Aidan Gillen and Gillian Anderson. In 1993 a young mother is arrested and given the choice of prison or informing on her family who are IRA members.

While it appears there are some divergences between the novel and the film the script was written by the author of the book. The plot does a good job of subtly portraying the life of people caught between differing loyalties on both sides of the conflict and has a good ending. While the film is more of a slow burner it is well made and keeps the audience guessing through out.

4/5

We can remember a better version for you

Total Recall (2012)

Directed by Len Wiseman this film based on a Philip K. Dick story stars Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel. A man discovers he is a secret agent with no memory of his past and that the life he has been living is a lie.

Although this is supposed to be an adaptation it is more of a remake of the 1990 film of the same name with with it shares many plot elements. Most of the problems with this film come from the weak script which lacks character development, emotional depth or capitalising on the more interesting sci-fi elements of the story. When it comes to the execution of the film there are some really interesting locations but the film is nearly ruined by use of lens flare that would make some of J. J. Abrams recent films look subtle.

2/5

Taken or destroyed

Major Dundee (1965)

Directed by Sam Peckinpah this film stars Charlton Heston, Richard Harris, Jim Hutton and James Coburn. During the US civil war an uneasy alliance of Union volunteers and Confederate prisoners hunt Indians down into Mexico.

When looking at the plot of this film it is hard to over look similarities to Moby Dick and the plot works fairly well even if it lacks some of the historical basis it claims to have. There are several different cuts of this film and I watched the theatrical release so it is worth noting there are versions with an extra half an hour of material out there. One of the big draws is the cast which includes a few big names and the film is largely well made despite having what sounds like a lot of problems behind the scenes during production.

3/5

Peddling goods

The Bicycle Thieves (1948)

Directed by Vittorio De Sica this film stars Lamberto Maggiorani, Lianella Carell and Enzo Staiola. In post war Italy a man and his son try to recover a stolen bicycle that is needed for the father to keep his new job.

This film has a pretty big reputation and while it does not seem mind blowing it is still a really good story of the little man trying to get by when the whole world is against him. The story does a good job of show casing the life of poor people in a country that has been ruined by war and the central father/son relationship works well too. Shooting the entire film on location really makes it stand out against other films of the period that were mostly shot in studios and gives the film a really authentic feel.

5/5

Nefarious Nanny

The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (1992)

Directed by Curtis Hanson this film stars Annabella Sciorra, Rebecca De Mornay, Matt McCoy, Ernie Hudson and Julianne Moore. Following the suicide of her husband and the loss of her unborn child a woman seeks revenge on the family she blames for her misfortune.

Plot wise this is a pretty average thriller that follows the sort of path you would expect with an innocent family menaced by a crazy lady working as their nanny. While the story is OK the antagonist is never really creepy enough for this thriller to keep you on the edge of your seat. Mostly the film is well made though Ernie Hudson's performance as a mentally handicapped man is borderline at times.

3/5

Lacks care

Foster (2012)

Written and directed by Jonathan Newman this film stars Toni Collette, Ioan Gruffudd, Maurice Cole and Richard E. Grant. A couple that are unable to conceive end up fostering a precocious seven year old.

This is one of those films that does know what it wants to be, it is too simplistic to be a film for adults and focuses on the adult characters too much to be a film for children. The plot is pretty cliché and wanders down a fairly predictable path of easy feel good nonsense. While there is not a lot to work with from the script I was not especially impressed by the performances of the cast either.

2/5

Bloody long mate

Australia (2008)

Directed by Baz Luhrmann this film stars Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackson and David Wenham. An English aristocrat goes to Australia in 1939 to help her husband sell their cattle station.

There are two fairly obvious problems with this film, it's length and inconsistent tone. At times it really seems that this film does not know what it wants to be which does not help as the story is pretty cliché and the characters fairly weak. Some of the special effects are overly reliant on CGI which is too obvious at times which is a disappointment given the great Australian scenery on view here.

2/5

Alec VIII

Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)

Directed by Robert Hamer this film based on a novel by Roy Horniman stars Dennis Price, Valerie Hobson, Joan Greenwood and Alec Guinness. The disowned son of a noble family attempts to claim a dukedom by murdering those ahead of him in the line of succession.

The plot of this film serves as a satire for the morals of the Edwardian period and does a good job of highlighting various hypocritical attitudes. While the film is clever it is not overly funny throughout and does well to include a fair amount of material that would never have got past the censors in America. While the film is well made the highlights are the performance of Price as the protagonist and Guinness who plays eight members of the family in the line of succession with great variety.

4/5

Not killing

The Double (2011)

Directed by Michael Brandt this film stars Richard Gere, Topher Grace and Martin Sheen. A young FBI agent and a retired CIA operative hunt down a Soviet assassin that has come out of retirement.

When you are putting together a spy thriller like this the most important part is that the plot makes sense and there are various times, especially in the final third, when the plot for this film gets stupid or unexplainable. There are a few interesting elements in the film but none of these are capitalised on as the characters are decidedly weak. Once you get beyond the massive weaknesses of the script the film is not too badly made but there is not a lot for the film makers to work with really.

2/5

Primed for confusion

Upstream Color (2013)

Written, directed by and staring Shane Carruth this film also features Amy Seimetz and Andrew Sensenig. A woman is drugged and robbed by a small time thief which is only the beginning of strange goings on.

Much like Carruth's first film, Primer (2004), this film is highly confusing at times while being a fascinating watch. The plot is a real head scratcher that I am still not sure I have figured out but hints at several thematic layers. One of the best things about the film is it's use of sound that is well worth watching the film for if nothing else.

5/5

It's a tarp

Home Alone (1990)

Directed by Chris Columbus this film stars Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern and Catherine O'Hara. An 8 year old boy finds himself home alone in the festive period after his family forget to take him on holiday with them.

Much of the plot of this film is your fairly average festive fare with the “be careful what you wish for”/”you will miss it when it's gone” theme. Clearly the main draw of the film is the slapstick battle in the fourth act between the protagonist on and would-be burglars but this is slightly less impressive than the rep the film has for it. Overall this is well made film and while it has funny moments it is some what of a surprise that this is one of the highest grossing comedies of all time.

3/5

Fixing games

Having You (2013)

Written and directed by Sam Hoare this film stars Anna Friel, Romola Garai and Andrew Buchan. A man discovers he has a seven year old son from a one night stand while his current girlfriend struggles to become pregnant.

There is plenty going on in the plot of this drama but it never really rises above being an average drama film. The protagonist gets cheated out of having to make most of the real decisions by events of the plot often over taking him which is disappointing. While there is a good cast there is nothing especially stand out about the execution of the film either.

3/5

Nepotism of the West

Young Guns of Texas (1962)

Directed by Maury Dexter this western stars James Mitchum, Alana Ladd, Jody McCrea and Gary Conway. A young man tries to recover stolen army gold that his brother is accused of taking.

There are really too many story elements for the short run time of this film meaning none get enough screen time to be used properly. What seems like the main story line ends up taking a back seat for a lot of the time to a weak “forbidden love” piece. The film stars the offspring of several famous actors and there are good reason why none of them went on to have successful careers themselves, it also shows that this film was clearly made on the cheap.

2/5

The girl and her bear

Brave (2012)

Directed by Mark Andrews and Brenda Chapman this film features the voice talent of Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly and Emma Thompson. In Scotland during the dark ages a young princess fights with her mother over getting married.

The plot of this film is a fairly decent mother/daughter story focusing on the fight for independence as a woman that never really hits the heights of some of Pixar's other films. By going into the world of fairy tales takes off the unique shine that Pixar usually bring to cinema as we are more familiar with this sort of thing and often the story does tend to rely on cultural stereotypes. Despite of a change of director part way through making the film the film is well made and has one or two sequences that do a great job of capturing the Scottish countryside.

4/5

Not a miracle

Salvation Boulevard (2011)

Directed by George Ratliff this film based on the novel of the same name stars Greg Kinnear, Pierce Brosnan, Jennifer Connelly and Marisa Tomei. A parishioner witnesses an evangelical minister accidentally kill someone and ends up the fall guy.

The plot of this religious satire never really goes anywhere interesting, sticking to pretty standard farce territory. There is a surprisingly good cast but they have little to work with. While Brosnan does his as the slimy preacher he never really has the right sort of charisma to pull it off.

2/5

Bear necessities

Ted (2012)

Directed by Seth MacFarlane this film stars Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and the director's own voice. A 35 year old man with a magic talking teddy bear struggles to balance his relationship with his girlfriend and his friendship with his bear.

This film gets by on the comedy of a foul mouthed teddy bear alone and is funny throughout, although some may find it offensive at times. The plot is fairly average and has a somewhat weak resolution where the characters never end up really making any hard choices. Using CGI for the teddy bear works well with a good balance between physical and computer effects.

4/5

Open the pod bay doors HAL

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Directed by Stanley Kubrick this film inspired by the short story “The Sentinel” stars Keir Dullea, Gary Lockwood and William Sylvester. A strange object is discovered on the moon and astronauts are sent to investigate what it might be communicating with.

All throughout this film is filled with stunning visuals and special effects, often accompanied by classical music. While the plot of the film is not especially dense there are some iconic moments within what is more of a slow meditation of a film. The film is open to interpretation and has elicited much discussion but seems pretty clearly to have a main theme of man's evolution, raising questions about our future.

5/5

Thud and blunder

The Conqueror (1956)

Directed by Dick Powell this film stars John Wayne, Susan Hayward and Pedro Armendariz. A Mongol warrior fights various tribes to gain power and a woman.

This film is littered with poor decisions from casting John Wayne in the lead role to filming on a former nuclear weapons test site which has allegedly lead to many cast and crew dying of cancer. While the plot is a fictional version of the rise of Genghis Khan there it is not that much different than many similar historical films of the period. It is hard to find much to praise about this film and it was considered one of the worst films of the decade by critics of the time.

1/5

The nun and the marine

Heaven Knows, Mr. Allison (1957)

Directed by John Huston this film based on the novel of the same name stars Deborah Kerr and Robert Mitchum. During World War II a US Marine and a nun are stranded on an island in the Pacific Ocean.

This is a fairly standard odd couple film where the two main characters learn to work together and appreciate each others life style choice. The plot does not offer much insight or growth beyond the comparison of being a Marine and a nun but is a fairly decent watch otherwise. Shot in the Caribbean the film is well made as you would expect from any John Huston film but does little to stand out.

3/5