Book of bullshit

The Scorpion King: Book of Souls (2018)

Directed by Don Michael Paul this 5^th film in the spin off franchise stars Zach McGowan, Pearl Thusi and Katy Louise Saunders. Now living as a blacksmith the former Scorpion King has to defeat some guy out for revenge against him.

I had no idea there were so many films in this series and to be honest this film is well worth not knowing about. The plot of this film is like a bad version of someone else's dungeons and dragons campaign. It is hard to find anything to recommend about this film, especially the parts that rely heavily on narration.

1/5

Chuff chuff

Train (1980)

Directed by Al Jarnow this is a simple stop motion animation film. We see a train run on some track.

Pretty simplistic and not with any great depth this is not the strongest of Jarnow's work. There is a very short run time and not a lot to go on here. Probably just one for completionists.

2/5

Broken

Unbroken: Path to Redemption (2018)

Directed by Harold Cronk this film based on real events stars Samuel Hunt, Merritt Patterson and Vincenzo Amato. After returning home from a Japanese POW camp our protagonist struggles with PTSD and alcoholism.

I found this it be a weak follow up to Angelina Jolie's film on the same protagonist. The script is not great and suggests that just a couple of church sessions will fix all your problems. To be honest this is one to skip.

2/5

Forgettable fun

Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)

Directed by Barry Levinson this film stars Nicholas Rowe, Alan Cox and Sophie Ward. At boarding school teenage Holmes and Watson become friends before embarking on their first case together.

A fun little romp through Victorian London this film is entertaining but no great shakes. The plot is pretty predictable which seems like the opposite you want from a Holmes mystery. Decently made but probably not a film that would get many second viewings.

3/5

A question of peace or war, life or death

The Fortress (2017)

Written & directed by Hwang Dong-hyuk this film based on real events stars Lee Byung-hun, Kim Yoon-seok and Park Hae-il. In 1636 the kingdom of Korea finds itself caught up in the war between Qing and Ming dynasties in China.

Maybe not completely historical this film still does a good job of framing the question as to the role of rulers when their country is under threat. The plot is of course relevant to the situation Korea finds itself in even today, caught between China and the USA. Well made and with some decent action sequences it is no wonder this film has spread beyond South Korea.

4/5

Building blocks

Architecture (1980)

Directed by Al Jarnow this is a stop motion animation film. Various coloured shapes come together to show the evolution of architecture.

I really like the way this film translates the complicated changes in architecture into something simple for the viewer to understand. While this is only ever an introduction to the subject it takes some pretty big leaps in the small run time. Well made and well thought out, worth a watch.

3/5

Too much fall out

Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018)

Written & directed by Christopher McQuarrie this film stars Tom Cruise, Henry Cavill, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg and Rebecca Ferguson. Our heroes try to stop a team of terrorists who want to set off nuclear bombs.

Creaking a little under the complex plot which relies too heavily on events of previous films the script for this film could be easier to follow. There are the suitable action sequences but the film is not much more than that. Maybe I am a little jaded when it comes to action sequences but I am not sure they are enough to carry this film.

3/5

You can only imagine how bad this is

I Can Only Imagine (2018)

Directed by the Erwin brothers this film based on real events stars J. Michael Finley and Dennis Quaid. A young man grows up with his abusive father then becomes a Christian rock music star.

To say this film is pushing an agenda is to put it mildly. Unfortunately it seems the plot is not that factual and the message so heavy handed the script is mind numbing. Generally the film is overly melodramatic and a bit of a boring watch.

1/5

Square-ish

Cube (1979)

Directed by Al Jarnow this is a simple animated film. We see a cube go through a serious of transformations.

This is a simple short film running less that a minute that explores the idea of the properties of a cube. Akin to a simple education film you might show a young child this is fairly entertaining but not especially deep. Fairly interesting but not very memorable.

3/5

Another cult

Apostasy (2019)

Written & directed by Daniel Kokotajlo this film stars Molly Wright, Siobhan Finneran and Sacha Parkinson. We follow a woman and her two daughters as they live as Jehovah's Witnesses in England.

Slightly on the predictable end this film still does a great job of exploring the pressures of being part of the Jevoah's Witnesses religion. The plot piles the pressure on the characters right up to their breaking point leaving us with a tragic conclusion. Well made and acted, definitely one to check out.

4/5

Not from our dimension

Alien Code (2017)

Written & directed by Michael G. Cooney this film also known as “The Men” stars Kyle Gallner, Azura Skye, Mary McCormack and Richard Schiff. A cryptologist is hired to work on a message believed to be from the future.

To be honest this film is pretty boring in patches and not nearly as clever as it thinks it is. Towards the end I found myself starting to check out as yet another long exposition scene took place. The trouble with making a film about something humans cannot conceive of is it is very hard for anyone to follow along.

2/5

Just a repackaging

Upgrade (2018)

Written & directed by Leigh Whannell this film stars Logan Marshall-Green, Betty Gabriel and Harrison Gilbertson. In the near future a man is paralysed by a spinal injury and is offered the chance to get control of his body back by way of an experimental AI computer chip.

Unfortunately this film is just a bit too predictable when it comes to the plot, the twists are obvious and the common Luddite fear so often shown in sci-fi. Despite the film's short comings it is still pretty well made. Not a deep thinker but the action is not too bad for a lower budget film.

3/5

bouncing balls

Mosaic (1965)

Directed by Norman McLaren and Evelyn Lambart this is a short animated film. A man throws a ping pong ball that bounces around and multiples.

Simple in concept this is an impressive animated piece. There may not be a huge amount going on here but the concept still requires skill to execute it. One is a series of good animated pieces from the directorial duo.

3/5

You couldn't make it up

BlacKkKlansman (2018)

Directed by Spike Lee this film based on real events stars John David Washington, Adam Driver, Laura Harrier and Topher Grace. During the 1970s an African-American police officer in Colorado decides to infiltrate the local chapter of the KKK.

No one does discussions of race issues in America like Spike Lee does and this another great entry into his body of work on the subject. Not exactly the whole truth when it comes to historical events as the story progresses this is still an excellent and timely look into racism. Maybe a little heavy handed at times this is still a highly recommended watch.

4/5

Lost and forgotten

Embrace of the Serpent (2015)

Directed by Ciro Guerra this film stars Nilbio Torres, Antonio Bolivar, Jan Bivoet and Brionne Davis. Thirty years apart a local shaman travels with two white explores on expeditions into the Colombian/Peruvian jungle.

Visually beautiful this film does a great job of exploring the jungle, the people living in it and the terrible effect of colonialism/capitalism. It is often a tough balancing act to respect the traditions of the indigenous people without falling into colonialist stereotypes but this film does a good job. Highly worth watching it is easy to see why this film gets so much praise.

5/5

The profession version of making you check out baby pictures

Jesse: The First Year (1979)

Directed by Al Jarnow this is a short documentary. We see and hear the director's son over the first year of his life.

To be honest this is kind straying into home movie territory in my opinion. As interesting as this is ultimately it is someone else's baby pictures and we have all had to sit through that feigning interest. Well edited but not one for me.

3/5

Riding the wave

Breath (2017)

Directed by Simon Baker this film based on the novel of the same name stars Samson Coulter, Ben Spence and Elizabeth Debicki. In 1970s Australia two teen age boys start to learn to surf from an older former pro surfer.

Classic coming of age themes are explored in this film via the medium of surfing. Despite the familiar themes and subject matter this film still has new things to say on the subject matter. I found this to be a refreshing surfing story that does not get caught up too much in the mysticism of the past time.

4/5

Not enough control

Incontrol (2017)

Written & directed by Kurtis David Harder this film stars Anja Savcic, Levi Meaden, Rory J. Saper and Brittany Allen. A group of young people use stolen tech to joy ride other people's bodies.

There are some good concepts at the heart of this film but unfortunately the script and some of the acting are a bit limp. Even with a decent twist towards the end the film oddly fails to build up any tension. Certainly there is something here but the concept needs more polish.

2/5

Not enough care taken

Action Point (2018)

Directed by Tim Kirkby this film stars Johnny Knoxville, Chris Pontius and Eleanor Worthington Cox. A grandfather tells the story of how he used to run an adventure park with little regard for safety.

Although inspired by a real park this story is fiction and the plot is fairly limp. The film relies on Johnny Knoxville putting his body on the line for stunts but they are not really up there with his Jackass work. All in all this is a decent concept with no effort behind the execution.

2/5

To space and beyond

Cosmic Letter (1979)

Directed by Al Jarnow this is an animated film with music from Tom Perri. Writing a letter our narrator zooms further and further out with his address.

Another simple animation from Jarnow but manages to convey something of the size of the universe. The skill here is always using the simple to show what is hard for the human mind to conceive. Well made certainly worth a watch.

3/5

Making a splash

The Meg (2018)

Directed by Jon Turteltaub this film stars Jason Statham, Li Bingbing, Rainn Wilson and Ruby Rose. Underwater explorers find a surviving prehistoric shark and end up prey to it.

There is nothing smart or surprising about this film but it is a good slice of Hollywood's processed cheese. If you can turn your brain off and enjoy the stunts this is a decent ride. The plot is no great shakes but just about suitable for this ocean adventure.

3/5

Not perfect or even close

Perfect Skin (2018)

Directed by Kevin Chicken this film stars Natalia Kostrzewa, Richard Brake and Jo Woodcock. A young woman is kidnapped by a tattoo artist that wants to make her his masterpiece.

Unfortunately this film does not live up to the great opening titles it has. The plot is familiar and has nothing of interest to say about art or body modification. Some of the acting is a bit suspect at times too.

2/5

Time on a landscape

Cosmic Clock (1979)

Directed by Al Jarnow this is an animated short film. We see various increments of time change the landscape.

A simple film with a short run time this is still a good way to understand periods of time we will never experience. Not overly impressive in style this is still a good watch, especially for younger viewers. Well worth looking out.

3/5

Puzzles, romance and gender roles

Puzzle (2018)

Directed by Marc Turtletaub this film based on the Argentinian film of the same name stars Kelly Macdonald, Irrfan Khan and David Denman. A middle aged house wife finds she is good at doing jigsaw puzzles and that there is more to life than serving her family.

A pretty simple but enjoyable film on domestic gender roles. I am not sure the film has much of depth to say on the subject matter but it is still a decently told story. Towards the end the film is a little gentle and I would have preferred some stronger consequences to the characters actions.

3/5

A Bond audition?

Damascus Cover (2107)

Directed by Daniel Zelik Berk this film stars Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Olivia Thirlby and John Hurt. As the Berlin wall is coming down an Israeli spy of German descent heads to Syria to try and help get an asset out of the country.

This is a pretty functional spy thriller that does it's job well on the surface level. It may be a little predictable and not have much to say on a deeper level but is still a pretty engaging watch. I enjoyed the performances and it did make me wonder if Jonathan Rhys Meyers could be a future James Bond.

3/5

Crap despite the stars

Maps to the Stars (2014)

Directed by David Cronenberg this film stars Julianne Moore, Mia Wasikowska, John Cusack and Evan Bird. We see the career of an older actress and a 13 year old boy who share the same agent.

As much as I have enjoyed Cronenberg's work in the past I will be honest in that I just did not get this film. Allegedly satire I found it hard to connect with the characters or the comedy here. There are some decent performances but it did not save this one for me.

2/5

A little crass

Muratti Marches On (1934)

Directed by Oskar Fischinger this is an animated short film. A bunch of cigarettes march and dance around.

This advert for Muratti cigarettes is a good example of early animation when things had to be done the hard way. No doubt it is impressive the talent that went into making this short but compared to Fischinger's other early animation the subject matter is decidedly commercial. Not a bad watch but not the top of my list to recommend for Fischinger.

4/5

Not extreme or shocking

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019)

Directed by Joe Berlinger this film based on real events stars Zac Efron, Lily Collins and Kaya Scodelario. We follow the life of Ted Bundy and his girlfriend.

Showing a serial killer through the eyes of the unsuspecting person that loved them the most is a unique concept but this film ultimately fails to deliver and gets caught up in the sensational trial elements. I think there was potentially a great film in here but sadly it was not the one we got. There are some good performances but an average script holds the film back.

3/5

Just say no

Haunting on Fraternity Row (2018)

Directed by Brant Sersen this film also known as “Party Crasher” stars Jacob Artist, Jayson Blair, Shanley Caswell and Claudia Lee. While planning for the biggest party of the year members of a fraternity find a hidden room in their house and let out something terrible.

Unfortunately this film takes far too long to get going and has a bunch of characters that you rather hope will all die during the course of the film. By the time we get to the actual horror part of the film you will have completely checked out of the film anyway. I am sure this film must have some redeeming features but I am hard pushed to put my finger on what they would be.

1/5

An early documentary I suppose

A West Indian Woman Bathing a Baby (1895)

Directed by William K. L. Dickson this is a short made for the Edison company. The content is pretty much exactly what the title claims.

There is not much to this film, it is a single shot with no narrative. Presumably this has value as a historical record but there is not much to it in all honesty. Probably not one worth seeking out.

2/5

Not so trendy

Trendy (2017)

Written & directed by Louis Lagayette this film this film stars Lachlan Nieboer, Haluk Bilginer and Lorraine Burroughs. Trying to escape his past after being cleared of child abuse a man travels to London where he struggles to fit in.

I found it very hard to connect with the protagonist of the story and I am not sure the film does a good job of fully showing the isolation of his life in the early parts of the film. The plot is holds your attention but I am not sure it goes anywhere. In the end I am not sure this is worth a watch.

2/5